The perfect IAL (totally not made in 5 minutes)
This language will bring peace and unity to all the world.
It's English but the third person pronouns (he/she/they/it/all of the others) are replaced to they.
It's English but the profession words ending in -(wo)man are all replaced with -person:
mail(wo)man → mailperson
It's English but /x/ becomes /k/.
It's English but when punctuation is needed after quotes, it's written after the quotes:
I am a fireman,he said.
I am a fireperson, they said.